New Years Resolution.. Early?

Well. I will be 100% honest, the internet had me in its dark and very large grip. I was stuck with the dicks at the other end of the line that would love to pester you to death, therefore I became one as it quickly became a trend. I went with a community of role-players who were.. not very polite in the slightest bit. But they did teach me alot of things. I made a good friend or two that I still talk to today, and the latter for my Xboxing. These friends were true to nature and by days end I had a very happy and cheerful feeling. I was happy to talk to them. As the time grew upon till this recent vacation, I had picked up on a very LARGE library of information, data, that I needed to sit down and process, think about, over a few hours or maybe sleep on. I pretty much was "All ears open" for these past few days. I've been in an incredibly good mood and it was great. I sit down here a few nights, stirring the pot that really I had made of intelligence that I needed to knead into my normal thought process. I'm basically restarting from a complete scratch, putting everything behind me that I had in the past. That includes alot of my "Friends" from Middle School. As I slowly grow out of touch, I really notice the impact they've had. Negative. The jokes they made with me were crude and.. Lets say, childish. My humor grew out of this very long three year adaption to the crude humor and I had slowly grown far away from the very goofy and socially awkwardElementarykid I was.Things changed, but I believe for the worse. I had some very bad mindsets for months period of time and quickly grew on them. This turned out horribly of course but it probably wasequivalentto doing some sort of drug. But, no. I have never touched a drug, or gotten knowingly close to one. That is the truth. I mean, how could I? I live in my basement. I'm.. slowly.. growing out of it. Breaking off from alot of bad addictions like my games and my god damn communities. I was looking in the deadspace of the internet as I go deeper and deeper. Hellish of what I had become, I was a 12 year old Nazi. I finally got tired of feeling so pissed at the world after I went on vacation, My mindset had such aninstantaneouschange that really, as soon as I got home, I abandoned all of these damned net groups I was in. I'm riding solo, I play games when I feel I need any entertainment which, around these times, is slowly easing off. I'm letting my roots grow out of this basement and out into sunlight. The world. I'll try and be more open and friendly. I'm tired of being the shy one, which I quickly become the "Dumb Ass that won't shut his mouth about your pen." Or something of some random tangent. I don't know. Sometimes I'd have my serious days, which I'm sure most people have, where I'd wake up and go to school and.. Try to talk to the friends I'd normally hang out with about serious things that impact our lives, I tried to spark conversations on our future, but they insisted to talk about the chick who was sitting in front of them. I am finally fed up with this. I don't want to fit in anymore. I'm tired of not being.. myself. My new years resolution starts early. I'm officially changing. I'm not done with the internet, I'm going to still pursue a career into the same field, I'm just done with putting up with the rudeness and crudeness I have dealt with for the past four years. I'm a freshmen now. I'm going to a brand new school. I'm going to make a name of myself. I'm not "Mexi-Melt". I'm Josh Xavier Can-Dela.



This was generally on my mind, and I publish it here.